
Falling To Pieces
Falling To Pieces by Tony Demoncy
Falling to pieces
In a nicotine rain
Brain spinning razors
Looking for pain
Hiding from pain
By helping my friends
I’m hurting them now
As I panic again
How are you, I ask,
I get no reply
So I go quite insane
As my fears start to fly
And my brain disappears
Through the window again
And my soul twists and turns
As I bake my own bane
While I shudder and judder
And claw at my mind
My spirit unravels
As I try to be kind
But I’m far down the rabbit hole
Lost in the mirror
Trapped in a maze
My skin getting thinner
I try one path, another
Am I protector? Or Lover?
Tormentor? Bedeviler?
Do I need to be cleverer?
I thought that I had
A handle on things
But I just don’t know what
The future will bring
I have empathy, sure
But just with the hurt
And for all those like me
I’d give them my shirt.
And I have in the past
Just trying to be good
But nothing can last:
If I just understood
Other people as well
As I sometimes believe
Maybe I would break through
This hell that I breathe
Where I lose everything
And I lose everyone
That matters to me
And I run and I run
And I see at the end
When I’ve lost or I’ve won
That it all looks the same
And I’m always undone
By my love, by my fear
See it all looks the same
At the end of the day
All I understand’s pain
Ah but love! I cry out
I understand that!
Do you really? I hear,
Or is need where I’m at?
Well yes, I need love
I need to protect
I need to be needed
I need self-respect
Ah, self, self-respect?
So it comes from outside?
Hmmm, no, no it doesn’t
But there’s no love inside
For myself, for my me.
I can’t be my own mirror
Cause then I just shatter
And I sit here and gibber
What am I? Who am I?
What’s real? What’s a dream?
And if the dream’s worse?
When I wake up, why scream?