A Life Less Ordinary
Trigger warning: This post describes childhood sexual abuse starting at a very young age, rape, family violence and incest, HIV and Hep B, long-term shame, and mental health struggles. Please read only when you feel safe, and stop if it becomes too much.
“I am 60 years old, and for more than 50 years I have never spoken about any of this. Not to family, not to friends, not to anyone. The shame has been so deep I convinced myself I would take it to my grave. Today I am terrified, but I need to finally say it out loud.
“What happened to me started when I was 3 or 4 years old. It continued through a violent, cold home where I was neglected, mocked, and further abused. At 13, in 1979, I was raped by an older boy after school. That rape gave me HIV and Hepatitis B — something I only discovered when I became ill in 1994. Layer on top of that severe bullying, ADHD, disability, and decades of fearing people so badly that for the last 5 years I have lived as a complete recluse.
“There is so much more — the fantasies, the guilt, the family betrayals, the way it all destroyed my sense of worth. I still feel profound disgust when I look at my own life. But after half a century of silence, I’m finally ready to stop protecting everyone else and tell the truth. This is my story. A life less ordinary.”
